That's How They Roll

Republicans sure are a funny bunch. They'll ignore you, ostracize you, vilify you, put you down, and diss you.

But just one Republican Senator goes Democratic, and all of a sudden, they're buying you ice cream:

Oh hey there, remember last year when, during the election, John McCain’s pathetic campaign resorted to offensive yet hilarious attacks against those of us who live in Northern Virginia? Remember how they called us communist and “fake Virginia.” Yes!? Well guess what!! Now the tool bags are coming here to hold the first in a series of events where they will feverishly try to figure out why they suck and what they can do to fix it.

Congratulations, Northern Virginny! You're fashionable now!

You want Republicans to start celebrating Teh Gay?

As soon as Teh Gay becomes instrumental in getting Republicans elected, male-on-male pegging (warning: That link goes to an unexpectedly adult Wikipedia article) will become a sacrament. You can bank on that.

My salute to those in "fake Virginia". Work those bastiches for all you can, then kick them to the curb so you can watch them cry.

They earned it.

First Black President? Not Good Enough For ASU

Someone once told me an easy way to sense BS.

"Do you know why it doesn't make sense?" he said to me. "Because it isn't true."

This will do nothing but p*ss you off, and I'm sorry to have to share it, but I've had an ab-so-lute gutful of organizations that do the little weasel dance to avoid looking like they wanted to have President Barack Obama speak.

First it was the pained fretting of Catholic priests who moaned about President Obama (and I'm going to use that name repeatedly if it makes some people cry so much) speaking at Notre Dame which was painted as being all principled and stuff but actually had more than the whiff of hypocrisy about it.

I didn't think anyone could top the childishness of that move. But ASU did.

Arizona State University has invited President Obama to deliver the commencement address on May 13th. It's tradition (and, I understand, the "done" thing) to award the commencement speaker with an honorary degree.

As of this writing, according to and broken by the Politico, ASU has decided not to award the country's first black President an honorary degree. He just hasn't worked hard enough yet, you see:

The university decided against awarding Obama the degree because it is customarily awarded for “lifetime achievement,” ASU spokeswoman Sharon Keeler told POLITICO.

“It’s normally awarded to someone who has been in their field for some time,” she said. “Considering that the president is at the beginning of his presidency, his body of work is just beginning.”

***BOGGLE***

A man of Barack Obama's stature and achievements hasn't rated the honor yet?

This is like refusing to call Neil Armstrong the first man on the moon because he hasn't done it twice yet.

If this man hasn't rated your respect yet, he never will. And ASU doesn't even have the courage to come up with a reason based on a solid debating point. At least Notre Dame did that. And they gave him an honorary degree.

WTF, ASU? Neocons on the board? Fear of a black planet? What? And you actually announced that and expected it not to look like weasel words and embarrass you? Are your PR people on vacation or payyy-ote or something?

There's buzz out that they're reconsidering. Thats as maybe. Damage is already done though. Well played, Asinine State University, well played.

Free Stuff: Worth What You Pay For It

Screenclipped from one of the far-too-many aggregate sites that I waste my life at each and every day:

Well, Mom Always Said that free stuff is worth what you paid for it, but in this case I'd say it's a bit overpriced.

No, silly ... don't click on the ad. While I acknowlege that there are douchbags in the world that get way too much importance, I don't actually link to them. Jeeze.

Limbaugh Pwned By Republican LIstener Who's Had A Gutful

If you haven't heard this one yet, you need to. It's the story of a man forced to look in the mirror and recoiling at what he saw.

You know him as Rush Limbaugh. Add your own epithets.

Thank God, incidentally, for Media Matters for America. They need no introduction around the liberal noosphere, of course, but I mention them because they are heroes to me, if only because someone over there listens to Limbaugh so we don't have to.

That is one crappy job. Must be just below Assistant Crack Whore on the crappy jobs scale. But it's a public service to be sure.

Anyway, I just heard this on Malloy, But all the stuff is over at the Media Matters site, including a recording. The caller is someone named Charlie, who identifies himself as someone who votes conservative and didn't want to see Obama elected and who served in the Marines and the Army, and all of a sudden, apparently, he had a gutful of it all, and it centers on that thing we don't do, torture:

Thanks, Rush. Rush, listen, I voted Republican, and I didn't -- really didn't want to see Obama get in office. But, you know, Rush, you're one reason to blame for this
election, for the Republicans losing.

First of all, you kept harping about voting for Hillary. The second big issue is the
-- was the torture issue. I'm a veteran. We're not supposed to be torturing these people. This is not Nazi Germany, Red China, or North Korea. There's other ways of interrogating people, and you kept harping about it -- "It's OK," or "It's not really torture." And it was just more than waterboarding. Some of these prisoners were killed under torture.

And it just -- it was crazy for you to keep going on and on like Levin and Hannity and Hewitt. It's
like you're all brainwashed.

And my last comment is, no matter what Obama does, you will still criticize him because I believe you're brainwashed. You're just -- and I hate to say it -- but I think you're a brainwashed Nazi. Anyone who could believe in torture just  has got to be - there's got to be something wrong with them.

Yes, that's right. You just heard a Republican call Rush Limbaugh a brainwashed Nazi. It took several minutes for Rush to get back on his pins but he was never able to regain the initiative, so he ended the call and lept off the deep end into the river of de Nile:

Charles, Barack Obama is president of the United States today because of stupid, ignorant people who think like you do. You pose -- you and your ignorance are the most expensive commodity this country has. You think you know everything. You don't know diddly-squat.

You call me a Nazi? You call me somebody who supports torture and you want credibility on this program? You know, you're just plain embarrassing and ludicrous. But it doesn't surprise me that you're the kind of Republican that our last candidate attracted. Because you're no Republican at all based on what the hell you've said here.

When confronted with the truth of what he's done, Rush Limbaugh recoils in horror at it ... and projects it on the messenger. The mistake here would be to assume that Mr. Limbaugh holds only liberals or people who don't agree with him in contempt. He holds all his listeners in contempt. If he didn't he would hand out such intellectual offal.

Of course I didn't excerpt it all ... that'd just be rude of me. Go to Media Matters to read the whole thing and listen to the clip.

It's historic, in a way. There may well be no better exposition of the corruption that is Rush Limbaugh and exactly what he does when confronted with it. It deserves a listen. It deserves two listens.

Simple Answers To Simple Questions on: Wingnuts Fomenting Open Rebellion

Kari at BlueOregon:

Will the responsible Oregon Republicans denounce these dark demons that stoke the fires of revolution?

No.

This has been another edition of Simple Answers To Simple Questions.

We would answer the question Is There Such A Thing As A Repsonsible Oregon Republican, but we do not run a series called Oregon Political Koans. Maybe someone else will. I"m just not that smart.

On Public Assistance In TN? Forget About Winning The Lottery.

In our latest example of the pure hatred and disdain the Republicans have for the poor, comes this amazing concept from the state of Tennessee. According to reports we've heard over the weekend, Tennessee State Rep. Stacey Campfield (R-But What Did You Expect) wants to harsh one of the few buzzes poor folks get:

"This bill prohibits issuance of lottery prizes in the amount of $600 or more to any person who receives state or federal economic or medical assistance due to indigency."

Arrie Chamberlain says the measure is unfair. She plays the lottery every week, is on the government's food stamps program and has a job.

"If I work and go out and earn a living, why can't I spend the money? Everybody else gets to. Just because I make less money and have more obligations doesn't mean the state can tell me how to spend my money. "

If there's anything that makes my blood boil, I mean really boil, it's the way we expect The Poor to be more virtuous than us, and if we don't, well, we despise them. The Poor aren't Poor because they're evil, they're poor because, unlike you (the editorial You, please note, not the personal You) their chances didn't work out. And we aren't necessarily any better than them, just a bit luckier.

Now, I don't condone addiction or frittering away, but I also don't begrudge poor people the occaisional drink or lottery ticket. If my tax money is supporting someone having just a little fun, so be it. The mass of poor people who dissipate themselves themselves through drink and fun is a myth, just like the Cadillac-driving "welfare queen" that the Reagan cosmology gave us.

(for the record, I drink sparingly, and never play the Lottery.)

Think about it. Just because you're poor doesn't mean you don't want to just kick back, enjoy, and dampen the pain for a little while.

And that's not all, of course. Rep Campfield's idea of social engineering is to tell poor people who are taking any public assistance, even if they earn most of thier own money and just can't make ends meet, that they can't win the lottery.

Poor? Tough. Suck it. Win the lottery? Screw you.

The only thing Stacey Campfield deserves for this is the big middle finger.

Mannix: You Know Their Tired Of You When They Won't Even Laugh At Your Jokes Anymore

So it seems that Kevin "Not The 1970s TV Detective" Mannix knows how to see in April – with a rather high-quality joke:



Because Oregon doesn't have an LG, you see. In case you aren't in on the joke.

Read here at the WW Kev's press release. I don't appreciate Republicans (and Kevvy less than most) but I do appreciate a healthy sense of humor, and this was a good one.

But boy, do his Republican cohort wish he'd just enjoy retirement. One editorial in the Oregon Catalyst and the disdain just happens. It ain't pretty. You can read it at this URL:

http://nwrepublican.blogspot.com/2009/03/kevin-mannix-is-back.html

which I'm going to make you cut and paste because I'm not going to sully my beautiful blog with links to a place like that.

Kevin, you are now an outcast in your own party.

Didn't think that would happen, did you?

That's the way your party rolls, though. Anyone on the outside could have told you that.

But anyone on the outside is an enemy, amirite?

But seriously, I thought it was a good one.

But everyone knows that, out of respect, John Lim was going to get to be LG first.

The Republican Road To Recovery: Idaho, We're Looking At YOU!

(via a blog in the other state slated for elimination) The national GOP proves it's great at designing a slick pamphlet (and not much else) with the "Republican Road To Recovery", which has all sorts of nifty circles filled with handwavy promises you can't disagree with.

With all the good will the reputation the Republicans have buy them, I'm having trouble not believing that you could fill the pretty circles with things like "Kittens", "Puppies", "Apple-cheeked Kids", and "Corn Dogs" and really change the substance of the report much. I mean, am I for More Jobs and Sustainable Power? You bet! Do I think Republicans are sincer about ever delivering on it? How many ways I can hell no!

Anyhow, the incomparable Nate Silver has "leaked" the substance of the refined plan. Sorry to let you know, Idaho – even though you're redder than red, you're on the chopping block. Sucks to be you!

We'll have to get our potatoes from somewhere else.

A Short Tale About Arlen Specter, The Democrats, and The Employee Free Choice Act

Once upon a time, near the edge of the political wilderness, a Democratic Party with a 9-vote Senate Majority (but not quite enough to prevent a Republican filibuster) saw a poor, battered Arlenspecter just by the side of the road.

While still greatly sustained by his constituency, he was very mindful of the fate of another member of his local ecosystem, the Ricksantorum, who was foolish and took his niche for granted, so he was stepping carefully, lest he be consigned to the political wilderness forever with the rest of this species.

"Excuse me, Democratic Majority?" he asked plaintively. "I know I'm a Republican and all, but I'm a moderate Republican – heck, I'm almost one of you, and I sure would appreciate it if you could help me stay out of that there political wilderness."

"Well, I don't know," said the Majority. "I remember how you treated me when I was the Minority. You talk reasonably now but back then, others in your species all but tried to kill me. I know you're a reasonable member and all, but you can't help but deserting me when me and the American people need you to do the right thing. Because of your species, we have two pointless wars in which we're still losing blood and treasure and an economy that's hollower than a Republican promise (sorry, no offense). You'll tell me this but you actually have a poisonious bite thats fatal to working-class Americans and a toxin would stop at no lie to tell a posionous untruth about what my party's trying to to rebuild America."

"Look", said the Arlenspecter, "Though your words sting, I'm not going to insult your intelligence by saying you're wrong. I understand your reluctance. But if you pick me up and bear me away from the boundary of this wilderness, I'll be your friend. I'll treat you better. I'll help you by making sure that the Employee Free Choice Act doesn't get filibustered by others in my species."

"Well, I'm still not sure. Your colleagues have given insincere promises before"

"Okay, I'll tell you this one thing", the Arlenspecter said, almost desperately. "You've heard whisperings in the Beltway Press that I might join your side to stay in my seat? Whether there may or may not be a truth in that is yours to ascertain. But it certainly may happen if you help me. So what do you say?"

The Democratic Majority was still unsure. To say that the Republican Party has been dreadful to them over the last two administrations would be to severly gild the lily. But the Majority was made of compassionate stuff. Don't we all love America? Do we not have more in common than we have in difference? Doesn't even the most sincere Republican deserve a chance to make it back out of the wilderness if they do the right thing? were all thoughts that went through the Majority's mind in and out of committees and debates.

And he was a particularly snappy dresser–Republican or Democrat, he was clearly, by the couture of his kind, one of the tribe.

"All right, I will save you. All living things and decent Senators deserve kindness, a lift out of the wilderness, and a chance to remain relevant."

And the Democratic Majority picked up the Arlenspecter and, placing it under its cloak close to its EFCA, confident that it did a Good Thing, carried it right up to the boundary of the political wilderness.

All of a sudden, as they got to that amazing line, the Majority felt a sharp pain right in its EFCA, and felt the venom start to spread. It dropped the Arlenspecter in betrayed shock.

"Arlenspecter! You gave me your word of honor that you wouldn't do that!"

"People make a lot of promises in this town," the Arlenspecter said as it crawled off. "Next time, get it in writing. And don't wait up for me to join your side when I run for re-election either, ha!"

"But ..."

"Hey, hey, hey there. You said it yourself. You knew what I was when you picked me up."

Republicans On Pretty Much Everything: "We Must Have Tax Cuts"

It's been beat pretty much to death on The POJ, but it was said of the news today that State Senator Brian Boquist (R-Reading From A List Of Talking Points) of Polk County said Republicans had great ideas on how to get Oregon's economy turning over again.

So, I thought "hey! Any idea that The POJ has the guts to announce as being from teh Republicans has got to be a game-changer!"

Well, you can all go home again. Clear out the auditorium:

Tax cuts. Withholding tax cuts. Tax credits for remodeling your home (should go over like a shot with renters and people who have low incomes). Tax cuts, tax cuts, tax cuts.

Let's set the scene: let's say that, due to a revolution in science, it was found that, instead of four billion years in the future, the Sun was going to enter its red-giant phase, scouring all the Earth of live, in only four years. You can picture the headlines now:

REPUBLICANS ON SUN GOING NOVA; WE MUST HAVE MORE TAX CUTS

They're all like big, fleshy Teddy Ruxipins that only have one tape. It's the answer to everything.

To save everyone a step from here on out, please review the following comic I stumbled on today. It should explain everything about the Republican response to the economy, AIDS, poverty, scoliosis, tooth decay ...

(Image hotlinked from the Big Fat Whale site:
click here to embiggen)

Teh Lars's New Syndicator Not Quite Sure What Teh Lars Is

Well, to be honest, he's puzzled us for a long, long time:

Lars Larson announces the selection of Compass Media Networks as its exclusive representative for national radio syndication effective March 30, 2009.

(Italics, larger font size, bolding are ours, nest-say-paw. I mean, it was all I could to to not use the blink tag here)

BREAKING: The Bike Tax, About To Die The Death Of Stupid Ideas

The dawning light of sweet reason is rising over the State Capitol, as the Bike Tax–the risible idea dreamt up by State Representative Wayne Krieger (R-naturally) and signed on by two other SW Oregon republicans and a Metro area Democrat who should have known better.

The AP is reporting (via OregonLive) that HB 3008, the statewide bicycle registration fee, what amounts to a bike tax, is going nowhere. Which is a good thing, even if bike-haters don't want to see it.

Bikes offer economical, affordable transportation to those who can–and those who can't–afford cars. Bike wear on our streets and highways are as near to nonexistent as makes no difference. The cost of adding striping and bike-safety facilities to streets must certainly pale into insignificance next to the cost that cars and trucks inflict on the road system. Moreover, there is no one more immediately effective way of reducing your contribution to local pollution and global climate change.

And if that doesn't convince ya, remember that most bike riders are already automobile owners. We've (and I include myself in that group) already are taxed and pay fees to have the roads to begin with, and we happen to think that if taxes and fees are the entry cost for having an opinion, we've already been worked over for it! If you only drive a car and feel your opinion on this is important, then our opinion must certainly be as important as yours.

Look. Every few bikes on the road means more room for your car. This is a win-win, and with I think the actual cost of supporting bikes as part of the system would actually be, you get it with no extra cost.

And if that does't change ya mind, think on this: while money to implement bike safety programs and additional bike infrastructure would be neato-mosquito, it probably wouldn't happen anyway: according to State Rep Terry Beyer (D-Springfield), the chairwoman of the committed where this gold plated (rhymes with "bird") isn't about to get a hearing, the revenues required to run the registration system would just about use up the revenue it generates anyway.

So if you think that additional money from this tax is going to support bicycles, then you're laboring under a terrific misconception, and you must stop it.

Let this stinker die.

The Norm Coleman Full Employment Plan

Are the RNC about to trade Michael Steele in for Norm "I Want Every Vote Counted Unless it's Going To Be For Franken" Coleman?

Poltiico (and others) seem to think so.

Republicans either failing upward or sideways. And the more I think about it, the more I realize that Norm Coleman is the perfect face of the odd bird the Republican party has become.

You go, boy.

(via MNPublius, and h/t to Kevin at Preemptive Karma for jogging my memory on this one).

Meanwhile, Back At The Party Of No New Ideas ...

Via Democratic Underground and the Kansas City Star:

Rep. Chris Carney was walking down a Capitol Hill street whensuddenly - bam - an anonymous Republican with a video camera who had been following him asked him a question that was intended to embarrass the Pennsylvania Democrat.

The interviewer asked first about a single provision in the massive economic stimulus bill, then asked if Carney was going to be "ready to vote tomorrow."

An irritated Carney answered: "Like I told you before, if I see the damn package, I'll have an answer."

A "macaca" moment meant to replayed on the Internet and possibly wound a vulnerable Democrat?

Yes, as the article concludes.

Now, we know that each party tracks the other, has video cameras on each other all the time. But there's a difference between what happened at the so-called "macaca" moment–Former Virginia Senator Allen didn't need to be handed the rope. The tracker for the Webb campaign stayed out of the way. Senator Allen pointed him out before taking the safety off his mouth and shooting his foot with it.

That's not the same as stalking your opponents, getting the drop on them with a video camera, and asking them a pointed question in order to get them to give you a tell. If I may stretch the rope/hang-ones-self metaphor a bit much, this is forcing someone to take the rope you want them to hang themselves with and, when they refuse to put the noose around their neck, trying to pin them so you can force it on them yourself.

I guess coming up with new ideas is hard for Republicans to do. It's easier to manufacture 'gotcha' moments.

Will Michael (Not The Ex-Bangle) Steele Soon Be Ousted?

Tegan Goddard seems to think it possible:

Republican insiders tell Political Wire that a no confidence vote on RNC Chairman Michael Steele is likely to be called after the NY-20 special election on March 31 -- regardless of whether Republicans win the seat or not.

Later in the article it's related that the putative putsch leader, someone I've never heard of named Katon Dawson, reiterate that he supports Steele.

So Steele's going to be kicked to the curb soon. Unless he isn't, of course. But it seems to me that the point isn't that the RNC may have the mother-of-voters-remorse over Mr. Steele, but that the whispers are going out at all.

But it stands to reason. Republicans pay lip-service to the marketplace of ideas, but in the Big Tent, it's lockstep all the way, and Michael Steele has these little things called independent thoughts that make the old white guys who run the place swoon.

Remember how I said this some time ago:

Tiernan said he was attracted to Steele by his dynanism and ability to articulate Republican values. He said Steele's ethnicity helps bust the stereotype that the GOP is a "party of old white guys who only care about business."

There's a big, big difference between busting the stereotype and actually changing the way one thinks.

The former is message, the latter is substance, and with Republicans, the message is substance.

Translation: they are still the party of old white guys who care about business.

They're more addicted to message than a tweaker is to their crystal.

That's your political lesson for the day.

They Only Wound Up Galting Themselves Over

Hey, Conservative Blogosphere, How's that "Going Galt" Working out for you?

Apparently, not so well according Hilzroy @ the Washington Monthly:

None of the people Dr. Helen interviews is actually Going Galt. More to the point, neither is Dr. Helen. She claims to be "mulling over ways that she can "go Galt". Allow me to help her
out (along with Michelle Malkin, Glenn Reynolds, et al.) To Go Galt, she should:

(a) Identify those things that she does that are genuinely creative and productive. If there aren't any, then the fact that it will be difficult for her to Go Galt is the least of her problems. 

(b) Refuse to do those things in any way that allows society at large, as opposed to a small circle of like-minded individualists, to benefit from them.

It really is that simple. If she and the other bloggers who are calling on people to "Go Galt" don't do this, the only explanations are that they don't have the guts to do what they are encouraging others to do, or that they recognize that nothing they do counts as creative or
productive, or that they just aren't thinking about what they write.

Read the whole thing (seriously, it's important) and read the comments too. They're some of the most thoughtful comments I've ever seen to a post.

They use that word a lot, the conservative bloggers. But we're pretty sure it does not mean what they think it means.

Oh, Go Galt Yourself

Just caught whiff of this. Us Orygonian bumpkins and bumpkinettes may not have heard of this, but this sounds like the silliest, selfishest, most self-indugingest thing since the other week when that risible "teabagging" party trend (link rated R for adult situation) that happened because Santelli belched something resembling a thought (It would be helpful to note that CNBC's Rick Santellin not only Hates You (tm) but is a buffoon as well, though unlike Jim Cramer, he's not even funny).

It's called going Galt.

As someone once said, assume I'm an Objectivist, and assume I'm a dunce ... but I repeat myself. Now, we all know (even if we don't Rand around) that John Galt is the pivotal character in Atlas Shrugged. He is the ubermensch upon whom withdrawing the creative contribution causes the entire Earth to spin into the sun (or cause another Thin Man movie to be made, or something like that). If you buy into Objectivism, the "men of ability" (not you) are the people who actually make the world go round, and if they decide to stop contributing, then the whole fabric of society unravels and the whole place starts to look like sections of Detroit we've heard about recently.

Now that the rabble (if you're reading this and you wonder who the rabble might be, it's you, Sparky) have begun to actually demand that government work for them instead of on them, the Masters of the Universe (if you wonder if you are one, then it's a dead sure thing you aren't) have decided that they're just going to take their ball and go home.

Balloon Juice has a pretty good summary here:

Much html code has been spilled about the wingnut obsession with “going Galt” in order to avoid paying a 39% marginal rate on income over 250K a year. Matt Yglesias points out that we’d probably be better off if a lot of wealthy Americans went Galt, the Washington Independent has a nice run-down of the whole movement (oh, it resembles a certain sort of movement, if you follow me–ed), if it can be called that, and commenters all over point out that John Galt would never have worked as a dentist, represented people from Bakersfield, or slept with Glenn Reynolds.

Take that lese majeste, you little people. Once you all pipe down, we're getting you a shorter chain.

Problem is, those self-styled Galters don't really resemble John Galt much at all. Once again, if you buy into such Random philosophy and you think that the world won't go unless a creative elite does anything, most of the those who want to go Galting around don't really produce anything that society can't do with out. Conservative bloggers? Investment managers? Commentators? Michelle freaking Malkin?

We'll, they'll show us, you see. They'll go off to the gulch and hope we all Galt ourselves off a cliff.

I hope their little feelings won't get too hurt when they find out the world kind of works better without them.

I kind of hope they Galt off along with the horse they rode in on. We'll all be better off.

Mom always said there'd be people like that there, too, also.

Ever Wonder Where The Payday Lenders Went?

They're still in that reddest of red states, the state that has the highest consumption of pr0n per capita, Utah.

And they're having an eerily-similar discussion to the one we had before our lege got sane and stepped in:

Representative Laura Black (D) - Sandy, introduced legislation to cap the interest on a payday loan at 100%. That attempt died in committee on Tuesday, March 3, 2009 on a party line vote.

The average payday lender in Utah currently charges more than 500% annually! Who takes out payday loans? Those struggling to make ends meet, that’s who. The rich, or even members of the middle class, don’t take out payday loans. Those living paycheck to paycheck and coming up against a medical or other emergency take out payday loans.

Of course, since Utah is still largely Republican, they're going to have a tougher go.

I wonder if they've thrown out the "freedom of choice in financial services" red herring yet?

Brain-Free Republican Lawmakers

It's what you get when you govern by talking points.

I'm Sorry, Rush.

I don't know what for, I just am. I abjectly apologize.

I mean, a whole lot of people are apologizing to El Limbaugh for no obvious reason, and I'm sure, as a liberal, I've done something to offend.

So, there ya go. I'm covered.

Palin/Jindal in 2012! USA! USA! USA!